In my attempt to live in the moment this year I have slightly neglected some of my responsibilities. (Sorry guys) But all for good reason! I’ve decided 2019 is all about being present. After 16 months of maternity leave with Brook the time finally came for me to go back to work, which meant I would be losing so many precious hours with her. So many just mommy & Brookie moments. So many crazy girl moments, public meltdowns and perfectly cuddled up naps will be missed. (I keep telling myself it’s for the best).
She does hug me a little tighter now and for a little longer and it made me realize I need to be more present. My moments are fewer now and I have so many memories to make, so this year I am vowing to be absolutely present in every precious moment I have with her. I want to remember how it feels to hold her hand while she falls asleep at night and how the sound of her giggle when I pretend to bite her neck throws my whole being off balance. I want her to remember me too. Without a cell phone in my hand. This is the real challenge - just ask the 17 freaking thousand photos I’ve taken since she was born. I mean have you seen her ? How can I not ?
But if there’s a little girl in the world who deserves it, it’s this one. I know this means some rearranging of responsibilities on my end and probably a little less sleep and a whole lot of letting go. And for the first time in my life I actually think I’m ok with that. Because letting go means I’ll be gaining so much. For as long as I can remember I have overloaded myself with too many ambitions and with ridiculously high expectations. And I feel like I’m constantly operating on this hyper intensive level. So here we are a few weeks into the new year and just getting back to the grind. I’ll be doing my best to stay on track and keep to my deadlines so I can reach my goals, but most importantly I’ll be putting Brooklynn first.
So my sincerest apologies upfront if I don’t respond until after hours or way too early in the morning. I’ll be busy soaking up all these perfect little moments before she’s not little anymore. And to all my mom boss super stars out there any words of wisdom are greatly appreciated.
Now it’s back to baby snuggles for me. Sweet dreams !